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Captain’s Diary: Curse and Cuddle The Darn Cat | Outside

You have a cat ? If so, I bet you can swear and love it at the same time. They may behave like the strangest creatures on this planet, regardless of fault, but will jump into your lap and butt your head with contagious affection, then grind against you purring.

How are you going to resist that when that damn cat tugs at your heartstrings?

It’s bound to be hard to fathom a creature that’s 95.6% tiger, can run 30 mph in gusts, can jump five times its height, move faster than greased lightning, has long, sharp retractable claws and fangs in razor shape. This cat sees the world very differently from us.

Somehow I just know that the cat sees me as a far inferior hunter. While that’s absolutely true, I’m a much more consistent hunter because cat food packets at the market don’t run away very quickly when I try to catch them. And so, the cat supports me.

For me, one of the most fascinating things about cats is their reflexive ability to get up in the air (eg when falling). Another is that they don’t seem to have a sweet tooth. I mean, if my cat got into my candy stash, the fur would fly.

A cat can be right or left handed. I’m told they can drink seawater, but I don’t biologically understand how that would work, and I haven’t observed any cats drinking from the sea.

One thing that makes perfect sense to me is how cats seem to prefer toys that are about the same size as their natural prey like birds, cats, lizards, and insects. Since they naturally hunt terrestrial and aviary prey, they seem just as happy with a toy that sits on the ground or hangs from above.

When they hunt and kill, cats are sometimes graceful enough to leave the hunt to us.

Cats can be extremely frustrating. For example, a cat doesn’t like too much attention, but a cat doesn’t like too little attention either. Where things get really weird is that their mood about such things changes, and we who belong to cats are supposed to know their mood at the moment and behave accordingly.

Have you ever put a cat on a leash? This usually doesn’t go well for very long, especially when you take the cat to a place where there are loud noises or dogs nearby. Still, I saw a few (very few, in fact) cats on a leash that seemed half-ok with it. It made me wonder what sedatives were put in this cat’s food.

Speaking of such things, giving a cat a dose of medicine can be a dangerous time. Baths can also be disastrous ordeals filled with loud sounds of anger and hateful looks from the cat.

Another thing that can cause hedgehogs is staring at the cat for a long time. This is because a long stare at a creature is a declaration of dominance. Your cat wants there to be no confusion over who owns whom.

I love cats, and the bigger the better. But I can love them and curse them with equal sincerity.

– Captain David Bacon operates WaveWalker Charters and is President of SOFTIN Inc., a non-profit organization providing boating opportunities to those in need. Visit softininc.blogspot.com to learn more about the organization and how you can help. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.

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